"A Complicated Embrace" Exhibition

My show at the Schiltkamp Gallery

Which one?

This is my teenager and father shoot. Can't decide which one I want. The lastthree are unedited. The first one I worked on but not sure if that's the one I want to use.

Final Pictures For Show

Not sure which one of these two I will use. I have to see if I can edit the second one to where I would like it. If not I will use the first one.

Random images that have nothing to do with my project but have take along the way

I hate editing

I have been really impatient lately. It has been screwing everything up. I find myself rushing through everything and I can see it in my work. The pictures are mediocre, the editing is careless, and the end result is shit. The problem is I know this but I can't bring myself to stop doing it. There weird thing is that it takes so much time and effort to put together a shoot. Firstly, it's a full time job just to find people. Then, when I do, I have to find a photo assistant, a car to get there, wake up early, and then be creative. I find that I am so overwhelmed that once I get there I can't be creative. There are too many pressures that I am constantly aware of and working through that when it comes down to composing the picture I am drained and completely lost. . It's debilitating.

I am going home at the end of this week. I really need to shoot. I plan on shooting my sister and myself with both our dad and step-dad (separate shoots). I just see myself putting all this effort in and then going to think about the picture I want to make and not knowing what to do. It all feels so wrong.

In doing the shoots I have done so far for this project I have come to realize that I want to take pictures of fathers and daughters in Worcester. I like taking portraits of people I don't know. I also like that idea of people who normally couldn't afford a photographer (or don't spend money on family portraits) getting a nice and free family portrait. The problem I am having is access. I need to find families who are interested. I feel like once I make a flyer and then submit them to schools, churches, and after school programs it will be time for me to start printing for my thesis. This is ultimately what is stressing me out. Knowing I have to have body of work that I am proud of by the end of March. This project is one I plan on continuing after graduation so having such a high expectation of something I feel like I am still in the beginning stages of has really taken a toll on my ability to do it for myself.

Art Worcester Consortium Show

http://www.artsworcester.org/exhibits-events/artsworcester-gallery-aurora





Every year for the past five years ArtsWorcester (on Main St.) has put on a show where all the schools in Worcester are invited to submit work that could potentially be apart of the annual consortium show. Every year I have seen people in the photo department at Clark enter stuff in but I never had the confidence or drive to submit anything. This year however my professor made it a class assignment for the senior thesis class I am currently in. So, I submitted the three images above. My goal was to get at least one piece into the show and I did! The bottom most picture (the landscape nude on the bottom) is in the show now and it even won a prize! I got first place which is the first time I have won first place in anything (in art that is, I ran cross country and track and I think I got lucky in a couple of those races). So yeah, the whole experience was pretty interesting and I am glad I did it. It was the first time I took the time to matt and frame my pictures. That in itself was worth the time and effort it takes to do this. Also, it was the first time I had to put a price on my work. Very weird.
I walked (more like rushed on my way to work) in to ArtsWorcester the last hour of the last day they were taking submissions. I was given some paper work to fill out about each piece. Before I knew it I had to have all these things decided that never even crossed my mind like a title and price for example. I went with "Untitled" (a cop out I know, I know). But the price! Ah! Did I want to sell it? Yes! But how much for? So I asked the woman "is fifty dollars too high?" I felt kind of silly when I saw the look in her and the woman sitting next to her eyes. "For fifty dollars I'll buy that right now" the woman said. I immediately saw how new I was to the art world. After finding out that the gallery takes 40% of whatever you sell your piece for and how much other people who wanted to sell their work priced their work at I decided on $225.00. We'll see how it goes. I still think the whole thing is pretty bazaar.

A Shooting Spree

I've set sail on a shooting spree. This past weekend I shot three sets of fathers and daughters in Worcester. I am exhausted but I don't feel like I will get anywhere unless I go at this pace for while. Next weekend I will shoot four, then I will go home and photograph my own family, friends, and random fathers and daughters.

So these are all unedited (basically a digital negative) of the some of the pictures I took this weekend. Please let me know what you think. In putting all my photographs for this project together I think it might be starting to look like something more than boring portraits. I have started to realize that I am projecting my idealized idea of what a father and daughters relationship should be. Scary! I am excited to see what the photographs I make with me and my sisters with my dad and step dad look like in comparison to these.


This is Joe, Alyssa, and Isabella. This is the first shoot I felt like I was starting to see what I had been trying to see since I started. I have a lot to say about this project milestone I just haven't found a way to articulate it yet so I am not going to yet. I will however leave you with the unedited pictures.

Paul and Amy

Paul Ropp is a professor at Clark University and his daughter Amy is someone I used to work with at Peppercorns. This was my first shoot for the Father-Daughter series. It was a really nice way to spend a Saturday morning. The Ropp family was so warm and welcoming. We walked to their house greeted with the most genuine smiles and freshly baked banana muffins. Honestly, the best way to spend a Saturday morning.

Looking back these are very documentary to me. I am glad I have something to give Paul and Amy for their own personal enjoyment but as far as for my project I think these are two people I would really like to reshoot. We have scheduled a date to reshoot so we'll see!

Christmas Show at Vitellos!

My mom is a performer. Most recently she sings jazz songs with a band. This show was a christmas show at a restaurant in Studio City, California (my hometown). Lady in Red is the first thing that comes t0 mind hehehe. A bit obvious but I can't help it. My stepdad plays percussion (Don, second on the left). It was a really great show everyone sounded great!

It was a funny experience photographing there. It was a mix of family and friends, a couple press people from the local newspaper, and random people who wanted to hear jazz.

Reshoot

So I re-shot this because the one I did at first bothered me due to the flat lighting. I think this one is better because of the slight not so in your face attitude. I put the new one up with the old one so you can see what I am saying.

I hope that this one is as confrontational yet less forced and obvious.

To be honest. I don't have much to say about these pictures because I have already written about my process and what's behind it in an earlier post. Right now I am printing for finals and really trying to make the best prints I can out of the many photographs I have taken this semester. Even though the semester is coming to an end I plan on continuing on with this idea of vulnerability when I go to California. I definitely don't feel as though I am finished with this body of work. In fact, I feel like I have just started. I see this idea and what is driving this idea taking on many different forms in the future. In shooting and exploring this semester I have come to realize that this need to make dark, confrontational, and loaded images is very complex and deeply rooted in past experiences. I know this is a normal concept that many artists can relate to but the reason I mention it at all is because this is truly the first time I have felt this connection to my work.

Not to sound corny or mushy but I truly felt that in having this realization it saved me from giving up on photography. Although this might sound dramatic, I really got to a point where I felt nothing and was not excited by my work at all. I know that I will always remember this semester as the first time in my life that I understood what being an artist meant. Although the definition continues to evolve for me, I have noticed that the one constant is that being an artist entails exploring the ideas in your head and in your heart for yourself. It means not thinking of the end result as a product you will show but instead really investing yourself in the process of trying to convey and understand the emotions and desires that exist within you. In realizing this it has really made me think about every decision I make and value the process instead of the end result.

Internal Vulnerability

This picture is one I shot a couple weeks ago. Since then I have shot three separate shoots and have printed a handful of prints. I kept looking at these thinking they were too cliche and literal however I from the responses I have been getting, this is what I need to be doing more of. I see it now that this photograph is more complete than the others. I am starting to think that unless it's a struggle I don't know how to handle it when a picture comes easier than I expected. So that's what happened with this picture. I saw the sun projecting reflections of the window on the wooden/steel wall. I immediatley wanted to make a picture about reflection and internal vulnerability. I have started to realize that when I put my photographs from this series together, I begin to see two types of vulnerability being illustrated, external and internal. This one is most definitly internal and will be placed towards the end of the series of photographs.

I have started to really appreciate this picture. I like how she isn't looking at the camera and is in a way reacting to the enviornment she is in. I think I will have her looking less and the camera and concentrate more on my subjects moving into the environment as opposed to in front of the camera.

Vulnerability

So I have finally begun to figure out what on earth my pictures are about. Me. However, the big overall theme is vulnerability. Realizing this was a huge step in the right direction. It's a scary realization however one that I know is valuable. So, I went back to the abandoned building and shot Rebecca some more. This time was different than the others because needed her to be uncomfortable. This whole time I have been focused on making sure my subjects are comfortable and at ease in front of the camera. This I have realized is not what my pictures are about. I am realizing more and more that my pictures are about vulnerability and overall discomfort. So, ki began directing her to appear this way and it was just looking way too posed. SO, I realized that she needs to actually feel uncomfortable. This is where is got interesting. I decided that I no longer was going to try and comfort my subjects but rather let them react however they naturally would to the enviornment I put them in. Also, I was going to ask them to do whatever I wanted regardless of it I knew it wouldn't be the most sanitary and comfortable situation to be in. So I asked rebecca to sit on this discusting toilet in this room. I think she was a bit shocked and repulsed by the idea but she did it anyways and was pissed off the whole time. Not only was she freezing in this discusting room but now she was sitting on this unstable filthy toilet. So this picture is one of the ones I took of her sitting there. Not my favorite of the shoot however I think the experience was a step in the right direction because I am trying to practice pushing my subjects as much as possible, even out of my comfort zone. * This is a discription for the first picture*

Still working ont hem technically. More to come!

These pictures begin to illustrate what I have been trying to get to. Not quite there yet but much more so than my last shoot. The thing is, I really like all these pictures but some of them end up saying things I am not necesarilly trying to say while others I think illustrate more what I am trying to show. Example, the middle image to me is about what happens when you contrast two very different things. Red and green as colors are contrasting to begin with but also human skin against that peeling paint and grimy interior and lastley the contrast of the lighting with intense highlights and shadows. This is more of the direction I will be working towards.

When I took these pictures I was looking at the form of the figure against the architectural design of the surfaces within this building. I am attempting to force contrast in as many ways as I can (subject matter vs. environment, color, and light).

I have been referred to Bill Brandt who does high contrast distorted nudes in interior spaces which I plan on learning more about. Here is an example of Bill Brandts work.

These two images are a continuation of nudes in the abandoned Atlantic Coffee Company. Both were taken in a former office. This is only my second time shooting out of the studio with nudes this semester. It's interesting to see what different enviornments and atmospheres bring to an image. Although I do love classic nudes in a studio, I really like shooting in different places. In the first image I was really struck by the highlights cast on the wall near my subject. I thought it would be a change of pace if I made my human subject secondary and the highlights on the wall my primary subject. Playing with this was really fun and exciting. It made me realize that I don't always have to make the figure the main focal point but rather incorporate the figure into some other part of the image.
In both images, I really loved the way the light lit Rebecca illuminating her left side as she gradually fell more into shadow.

As for the second image, I love her skin tone in relation to the other brownish orangey yellow color range in the room. The colors are almost muted. Also, her red hair red hair I think is so funky. Its beautiful with the way it frames her face but also gives her a little character where without it being done by clothing. When I look at this picture I feel like I can smell the musty old office that hasn't changed in years. It almost has a 1970's vibe to it. Also, this is a small detail but those are what make pictures worth really looking at sometimes, I love the way her hair part is adds another line playing off the wall and ceiling.


Im really excited about this place. It's gross to be in but really spectacular with the variety of textures and colors in the building. I just finished doing two shoots there this weekend. I look forward to editing the pictures and putting them up.

All sugguestions are welcome!

Final Version!

Hurray!

A new way of shooting

So I did a little experiment. For the past two years i've been shooting my friends in a studio setting. My normal routine is to look up references of pictures I use as inspiration and that I would like to try and make depending on which of my friends I am shooting. So,I collect my references, arrange the shoot, start thinking of ways im going to make the picture, what ill need (props, wardrobe, makeup, hair,and most importantly, music) and then bring all those things to the shoot. While I was looking at my pictures I began to realize there was something missing.I decided in order to make the pictures I want to make I would need to find a way to allow for the right vibe to naturally occure. So I changed my process. I came home, set up a permanent studio in my apartment so I would have to live with it with the goal in mind that I could be hanging out with my friends and spontaneously shoot them and then go back to what we were doing. I want it to be apart of our hanging out experience as opposed to a scheduled appointment. So I set up the studio, looked at pictures with my room mate Emily, then we hung out for a while and before we knew it we were dancing to music and taking pictures in my new studio. After the shoot we went out for a midnight snack at the Kenmore diner. I decided I needed to bring my camera because the shoot wasn't over. So i brought my camera and purposely sat across from Emily. As we were all hanging out at the diner I snapped this shot of Emily.

I really liked this image. I felt that it was more successful than the studio ones but it took all that shooting to lead up to this picture. By this point Emily had already been nude in front of the camera.

What I learned from this experiment is that this element of building up to the picture is just as important to the entire photograph as lighting, wardrobe, hair, etc.

Meet Harrison and Chester! My Nephews

I really like these portraits. I especially like the black and white one of Harrison. I love the contrast in his stripped shirt. I also really love the depth and twinkle his eyes give off as well as how pronounced his freckles are.

Harrison has braces and is totally in that stage where he won't smile in pictures. The cutest thing and another reason I like this picture is because you can kind of tell if you look at his smile that he isn't smiling on purpose.

Dawgs Continued

I like this image square.

Black and white? Color?

Friends

So I have been photographing my friends this whole summer and plan on continuing to photograph until the end of this year. It is a project I started in order to document the last year at clark. I want to capture the end of this experience that is college. Here is one of the recent pictures of two close friends of mine cooking in my kitchen.

BH-ians!

So, this is kind of funny. I went to BH Photo in NYC and played around with a bunch of lenses I can't afford. While I did this I kept my CF card in so that I would have some pictures to come of it. I think BH is such a weird and funny place. I started taking pictures of the people behind the counters who are mostly orthodox jews. It seems that in NYC orthodox jews have a monopoly on the photo stores. BH's empire is the top of the photo store food chain.

Sasha-Classic

So this was my first shoot of the semester. My aim was classy nude portraiture. I think Sasha looks very poised, or as Stephen said, Disciplined in her body.

What do you guys think?

Also,
I am having trouble figuring out the contrast and tonality of these images. Also, I am not big into color nudes but for some reason I am keeping this one in color. Any objections?

West Village Puppster

East Village Puppster

Kids at Play

Italian Fair-NYC

So I went to NYC this weekend to visit my brother and sister. On Saturday afternoon I stumbled upon an italian fair celebrating one of the saints whose name I can't remember, oops! Lots of meat, gelato, fried things, and Italian attitude at its best. I am putting this image up because I like it. I took it from behind for the simple reason that I wanted to see what the vendors were seeing. I came as a visitor and saw tent after tent each one finding ways to lure people in. This made me want to see what was behind all this loud craziness.

I am wondering what people think of the two bottom corners. On the bottom left is a small wooden thing and on the bottom right is a white bin. I didn't think twice about these when I shot the picture but now that I am editing them I almost wish they weren't there. What are your thoughts? Also, any thoughts on the image itself?

A Sweedish Peeler

This Swedish bloke was quit the salesman. He was selling peelers in Union Square. I totally walked away with a peeler.

Spring 2008

Meet Frankie!

First Nude Shoot

Erica 1st Shoot Contact Sheets

Kelsey Continued

Daisy

Color or Black and White?

Erica-Irving Penn Style

My first attempt at Irving Penn style pictures.

Head Shots!

First Attempt at head shots. These are funny because they look like it would be a character for The Cosby Show. It's the hat and curly hair that makes it look so dated. hahah Anyways, to headshots!

This is a view of Saint Pauls Cathedral from The Wobbly Bridge. I am facing north taking this picture.

Which of the three?

Of the three do you like any one in particular?

Which of the three?

Of the three do you like any one in perticular?

Critique

Please feel free to critique these. I really appreciate any sugguestions and comments! Thanks!!!

Which one do you like better?

I am not sure which of the two I like better. What do you guys think? I think in a way they both do different things. One where her face is sharper in focus and she is kissing the camera vs. a softer focus on the face with the lips serving more as the focus. Hmm, any other thoughts?

p.s. Hey Frank, I finally got the sizing down correctly!

Hey guys,
Just started editing the pictures I took this summer. Here is the first one I have semi-edited of Vanessa. Hey Vanessa! I miss you! ;)